Akatsuki Todd
by Yaoi Twins Of Yin and Yang
Summary: The Akatsuki decide to put on the musical Sweeney Todd to raise money. Orochimaru and Sound help. Hilarity ensures! Pen name chenged from Delilah Rain Loveless.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay so it was 6:56 am and I was reading this story and got to thinking. What if the Akatsuki put on the play Sweeney Todd? And then this story was born. Enjoy!**

_**Akatsuki Todd**_

Chapter 1

"Everyone I have an announcement," Pein said as the last of the Akatsuki gathered in the meeting room. "We are going to put on a musical!" Everyone's jaws dropped at this statement. Even the usually impassive Itachi had a look of utter shock/dread. "Are you fucking serious?" Hidan asked.

"Yes," Pein said. "And Konan is the director." "How much is this going to cost?" Kakuzu asked taking out his calculator. "Less then it'll make," Pein said. "Musicals are becoming extremely popular.

The money we'll make will be incredible. "What musical are we doing?" Sasori finally asked. "We're putting on Sweeney Todd," Konan said. "I love that play un!" Deidara said.

"It was my dream since I was a child to be in it un." "Did your parents know you were fucking gay or were they just fucking stupid?" Hidan said. "Go to hell un," Deidara said. "Anyways," Konan said. "Deidara, since you love the play so much why don't you tell everyone what it's about." "Why don't we just watch the movie, un?" Deidara said.

"I have it on my room, un." "That's a great idea!" Konan said. "Deidara get the DVD. Everyone else, into the living room!" "This is fucking bullshit," Hidan said following the others.

**Right After The Movie Ends**

"That was fucking awesome!!" Hidan cried. "Seriously, did you guys see all that fucking blood?!" "I must admit it wasn't that bad," Kisame said. "Sempai, that boy has my name!!" Tobi cried.

"It looks costly," Kakuzu said. "Okay now that everyone has seen it I would like to let you know that Konan will be holding tryouts in a few days," Pein said. "Why do we need to tryout?" Itachi asked.

"We all have to be in it, don't we?" "Yes you do," Konan said. "The tryouts are just so I can pick the right part for you." "So when are they, un?" Deidara asked. "They're in three days so I suggest you start practicing as soon as possible," Pein said. "Dismissed."

- - - - -

"I can't believe we have to do this," Kisame said once he and Itachi were in their room. "A musical, what was Pein thinking?!" "I wonder whose gonna be there?" Itachi said. "Be where?" Kisame asked.

"At opening night," Itachi said. "Wait," Kisame said. "You know this play stuff too?"

"Before I killed my clan we used to always go to plays," Itachi said. "I was more of an opera type of person myself but, Sasuke loved musical." "Did your parents want you to be gay?!" Kisame said.

"If I were gay you'd be on the floor right now screaming for mercy and strawberry yogurt," Itachi said. "Why strawberry yogurt?" Kisame said. "Cause gays love strawberry yogurt," Itachi said. "Just ask Sasori. He can never get any because Deidara always steals it all." "So that's where it all goes," Kisame said.

- - - - -

"So what song do you think I should do for the auditions?" Sasori asked Deidara. "I'll have to think about it," Deidara said. "Sing something I need to know what your voice sounds like."

"No," Sasori said. "I don't sing." "You have to sing!" Deidara whined. "It's a musical for god's sake!!" "No," Sasori said. "I don't sing." "You have to sing," Konan said appearing out of nowhere."She's right," Pein said appearing beside her. "You have to sing,." "Damn it!" Sasori screamed.

**At Orochimaru's Lair In Sound (OMG!)**

"Sir Orochimaru you got an email from the Akatsuki," Kabuto said. "Let me see it," Orochimaru said.

_Dear Orochimaru,_

_We have decided to put on the musical Sweeney Todd to raise money but we do not have enough members. If you aren't too busy could you please help us out. Help would be greatly appreciated and you would get half of the profits_

_Sincerely, Pein and Konan_

"What does it say sir?" Kabuto asked. "It seems as though the Akatsuki are putting on a musical and need our help," Orochimaru said. "Kabuto tell everyone of this new development in our plans. Make sure they are prepared for the arrive of the Akatsuki."

**At Akatsuki Lair**

Pein we got a reply," Konan said.

_Dear Pein and Konan,_

_We would love to help! We have a stage so come over as soon as you can. Bring over anything you think we might need._

_Your BF (Bitch forever!) Orochimaru_

"Excellent," Pein said smiling maniacally.

**A/N: I know I said I'd work on the sequel to 'The Lost Angel' but I just couldn't resist! Also **

**I just have to put something funny I said at lunch. Religious freaks beware!! "Gerome god doesn't hate you! Right now he's going 'OMG that Gerome is so fabulous!" It was really funny. XD. By the way my school starts REALLY early which is why I was up at 6:56. I was suppose to be eating breakfast but instead I was reading a story. Fabulous! I bet fabulous is my new word so expect it alot.**

**Thanx: Thanx shirilyle for reviewing The Lost Angel. Thanx Shimaki-33 for adding me to your Favorite Authors List and Reviewing. Dog pile on Shimaki-33! Everyone tackles Shimaki-33 Thanx Nyetta (aka my bff in the "real" world, Shannon) for adding me to your Author Alert List and adding The Fallen Angel to your favorite stories list. Don't worry I'll read your story soon. Thanx Asura Shinrin for adding The Fallen Angel to your Story Alert List. Thanx XSapphirexXxRoseX for adding me to your Author Alert List. Thanx anomie86 for reviewing The Fallen Angel.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Akatsuki Todd**_

Chapter 2

"I can't believe this fucking bullshit!" Hidan said. "For once I agree with Hidan," Kakuzu said.

"Half of our hard earned moneys is way too much!" "Hey Itachi," Kisame said. "Doesn't your brother live in Sound now?" "Yes," Itachi said. "Knowing him I won't be able to have my any strawberry yogurt."

"Aw man, un!" Deidara said. "Now I'm gonna starve, un!" "I just hope no one breaks my make up bag," Itachi said. "Seriously Itachi, did your parents decide they wanted gay children?!" Kisame screamed.

"Can you guys stop screaming!" Pein said. "We're here." "Welcome Akatsuki to our lovely village!" Orochimaru said as they entered. "Kabuto will now take your things and show you where you will be staying."

"Is there strawberry yogurt, un?" Deidara asked. "Of course!" Orochimaru said. "I meal isn't complete without strawberry yogurt."

"Fabulous!" Deidara said. "I know!" Orochimaru said. "Now after you get settled someone will some and bring you to our little stage where Konan and Pein will explain everything to our village. Then tryouts will begin. Good luck!" "I like him, un," Deidara said.

- - - - -

"This is where you'll be staying," Kabuto said pointing to a row of multicolored cabins. "Here I have these colored cards. The one you pick will determine where you will be staying. Pein and Konan, you will be staying in one of the VIP guest cabins. Everyone else, pick a card and find your cabins." The order ended up as follows: Zetsu, Tobi, Deidara, Sasori, Kisame, Itachi, Hidan, and then Kakuzu.

- - - - -

"Kisame be careful not to drop that bag," Itachi said while painting his nails. "If you do you'll die."

"Must you say that with every bag?!" Kisame said bringing in another extremely heavy bag. "It's not my fault you're a klutz," Itachi said.

"Well maybe if you brought them in yourself you wouldn't have to worry!!" Kisame yelled. "Kisame we are on a team," Itachi said. "And that means we have to do things for each other. So you do what I say and I intern won't kill you. Got it." "Hey Itachi,"Deidara said entering the cabin. "Should I use 'Fantasy' or 'Heiress' un?"

"Fantasy," Itachi said. "Heiress makes you smell like a twenty dollar whore." "True," Deidara said. "Why did I even buy it, un?" "Simple. Sasori likes whores," Itachi said. "Oh yeah," Deidara said. "It failed though, un. I tried it and Sasori told me to take it off cause I smelled like a hooker."

"Maybe he was jealous?" Itachi said. "He could have thought you trying to impress someone else." "There's a little tip about straight guys you two," Kisame said. "They like women." "Oh please! Danna's not straight, un!" Deidara said.

"I'll kill you Itachi!!" Sasuke screamed running into the cabin. "My hatred for you has grown strong. Now I am ready to avenge my clan! ITACHI PREPARE TO DIE!!" "Yeah about that," Itachi said. "The clan didn't really die. They just abandoned us and moved to Malibu."

"Then why did you say you killed then?" Kisame asked. "I needed a reason for Pein and Konan to let me join the club," Itachi said. "These cloaks are so sexy!" "But what about all the dead bodies?" Sasuke asked.

"They called me fat," Itachi said. "So I killed them and used there bodies to fake the murder of our clan." "Wow," Sasuke said. "I feel kinda stupid now. Wanna call a truce and stop trying to kill each other?"

"Sure," Itachi said. "But only if you don't tell Pein I faked the whole thing." "Okay," Sasuke said. "Orochimaru sent me to go get you guys so we should probably get going." "Agreed," Itachi said.

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to write. It's kinda hard to write an study for finals. Who the hell am I kidding I don't study! I was just being a lazy ass. So yeah. DON'T EAT ME!!**

**Thanx: Thanks XsaphirexXxRoseX for adding Akatsuki Todd to your Story Alert List. Thanx Shimaki-33 for reviewing and adding Akatsuki Todd to your favorite stories list even thought it's not done yet. Thanx Nyetta for Reviewing The Lost Angel.**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Akatsuki Todd**_

Chapter 3

"Alright, now that everyone knows what's going on it's time for auditions!" Orochimaru said excitedly. "Now what is going to happen is that when Kabuto calls your name you will come up on stage and me, Konan, and Pein will judge you American Idol style! Also we choose the song you sing and unless you don't know the words you have to sing it."

"And you have to wear your own clothes," Konan added. "No Akatsuki cloaks or Sound uniforms. We want to get to know the real you. You've got an hour to change. If you're not here by the time we call your name not only will you have to try out but you'll get a sucky part. Go!" Then everyone ran in different directions to choose the perfect outfit for the competition.

When they all return an hour later they found that Orochimaru, Pein, Konan also changed. Orochimaru was wearing black Tripp zip-off pants with silver chains, a black Coheed and Cambria bombs t-shirt, a parts cemetery zip-off hoodie, and Demonia black three buckle boots.

While Pein was sporting a black skeleton tee, checkered vans slip ons, and a pair of DC straight Resign jeans. Konan looked fine in light blue halter dress, oversized blue sunglasses, sandals, chunky blue bracelets, a cute blue tote with a white butterfly on it and had her hair up in a pony tail. But enough about clothes, on to the competition!

"Alright first is Itachi Uchiha," Kabuto said. "So Itachi why are you here?" Konan asked. "Well ever since I was a little boy I wanted to be in a musical and here I am," Itachi said. "Really," Pein said. "In that case sing 'The City Is At War' by Cobra Starship."

"What splendid choice!" Orochimaru said. "But might I suggest 'Guilty Pleasure' by Cobra Starship instead? It seems more his type." "Definitely!" Konan said. "Kabuto start the music." And this is how it continued until every person tried out.

- - - -

"Alright now that we've finished we'll discuss who gets what part," Pein said. "We'll post a list tomorrow. But for now Konan and Orochimaru want to post a list of who sang what song for some reason that I'll never understand."

Itachi - 'Guilty' Pleasure' by Cobra Starship

Deidara - 'Brave New Girl' by Britney Spears

Sasori (The Closet Case) - 'No Strings Attached' by 'N Sync

Hidan - 'Buried Myself Alive' by The Used

Kakuzu - 'Bills, Bills, Bills' by Destiny's Child

Sasuke - 'Bringin' Da Noise' by 'N Sync

**Judges Got Bored!**

Konan - 'Bubble Pop Electric' by Gwen Stefani Feat. Johnny Vulture

Orochimaru - 'Neighbors' by The Academy Is...

Pein - 'But It's Better If You Do' by Panic At The Disco

**Back To The Auditions!**

Tobi - 'Chicago Is So Two Years Ago' by Fall Out Boy

Kabuto - 'Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too!' by Say Anything

Zetsu - 'Breathing In Sequence' by Hawthorn Heights

Kisame - 'Damn Girl' by Justin Timberlake

Kimimaro - 'Miss Murder' by AFI

Tayuya - 'Crushcrushcrush' by Paramore

**Lunch Break!**

Everyone - 'Carwash' (Shark Tale Version) by Christina Aguilera & Missy Elliot

Everyone - 'Crazy Loop (Mm-ma-ma)' By Crazy Loop

Everyone- 'Does Your Mother Know' by ABBA

**Luch Break Over! Oh Wait, The Auditions Ended Right Before Lunch. Oops!**

"I'm not a closet case!!" Sasori cried. "He's right," Kakuzu said. "He's just shy. So shy that he won't tell a certain blonde that he likes him." "Oh my god he likes Naruto, un!!" Deidara cried breaking into tears. "I'm talking about a different blonde," Kakuzu said.

"Ino?" Deidara asked. "I like you dumb shit!" Sasori screamed and ran away. "Wait danna I like you too, un!!" Deidara cried and ran after Sasori. "I wonder if they're interested in a gang bang," Itachi said. "I thought you said you weren't gay?" Kisame asked.

"I'm not," Itachi said. "I'm bisexual." "You're bisexual," Kisame said and fainted. "Dude did you just kill Kisame?" Hidan asked. "I hope not," Itachi said. "He's the only one who'll carry my stuff."

"What kind of stuff," Hidan asked with a grin on his face. "Hidan go make out with Kakuzu you damn perv!" Itachi said. "Damn it Itachi you promised you wouldn't fucking tell!!" Hidan screamed. "I was gonna be all romantic and shit when I fucking told him!! You fucking ruined fucking everything you fucker!!"

"Sweet, but dates are too expensive," Kakuzu said. "If you want to impress me do something that's cheap and sweet." "What made you think it was a fucking date?" Hidan said. "I know you hate going out in public."

"Then what was this romantic thing you were going to do?" Kakuzu asked. "It's not that fucking important," Hidan said blushing. "Now if you'll excuse me I have some fucking sacrificing to do." "Hey Itachi," Kakuzu said. "Wanna spy on Hidan with me?" "Sure why not," Itachi said.

**A/N: The clothes I got from actual sites. So if the names sound weird then it's not my fault. I got Konan's out fit from Aeropostale .com. I got Orochimaru's outfit from Hot Topis .com. And I got Pein's outfit from Zumiez .com and Journeys .com**.** If you guys want I could right a story for just the tryouts. It's your guys choice. (But I really wanna!) And yes I'll actually finish this. (Unlike the After Party which I lost all inspiration for. Sorry ')**

**Thanx: Thanx punjabbingphanatic for adding Akatsuki Todd to your Story Alert List.**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Akatsuki Todd**_

Chapter 4

"Why are we stalking Hidan, un?" Deidara asked hiding behind a tree with Itachi and Kakuzu. "Because Kakuzu wants to know what Hidan was planning for him," Itachi said. "Shouldn't you be stalking Sasori?" "I lost him, un," Deidara said obviously disappointed.

"I think I just found him," Kakuzu said pointing toward where Hidan was. "What's Sasori doing with Hidan, un?" Deidara said. "Kisame's there too."

"I'm not quite sure," Kakuzu said. "Well maybe if you two would shut up we could find out!" Itachi yelled/whispered. "I got Konan's permission," Sasori said. "Let's go." Then Hidan, Kisame, and Sasori sped off into the forest. "Follow those ninjas, un!!" Deidara cried as he, Itachi, and Kakuzu ran after them.

"They're headed back to the Akatsuki lair," Itachi said. "No they're headed behind it," Kakuzu said. "But why?" When the ninjas finished running they were at a small clearing with a small lake.

What they saw there was quit surprising. Hidan was reading a book on Judaism, Sasori was putting dynamite are a small clay sculpture of a chibified Deidara, while Kisame was singing show tunes and skinny dipping. "What the hell is going on here?" Itachi whispered. "Kisame can you stop singing I'm trying to read," Hidan said.

"Like my singing is anymore distracting then Sasori blowing up Deidara," Kisame said. "Why do you do that anyways?" "I already went over this," Sasori said. "It's to express my love for Deidara."

"You know, blowing people up is usually what you do when you hate someone," Hidan said. "Deidara would appreciate it," Sasori said. "Well Deidara is a fucking idiot," Hidan said. "Shut it you fucking jew!" Sasori snapped. "What did you just say?" Hidan said his eyes burning with fury.

"Guys chill!" Kisame said while putting his clothes back on. "Must we go through this every time we come here? Hidan you know how Sasori feels about Deidara and Sasori you know how sensitive Hidan is about his other religions. Must you two keep constantly fighting?"

"Sorry Hidan," Sasori said. "I guess I'm just upset about the whole Deidara thing that happened today." "I'm sorry too," Hidan said. "I'm just as upset are you cause Itachi told Kakuzu my secret." "He told him you're Jewish?" Sasori asked. "No the other one," Hidan said. "He told him you're Buddhist?" Kisame asked.

"No!" Hidan said. "Itachi told Kakuzu I liked him." "How could he!" Kisame said. "I mean, Itachi is cruel but I didn't think he was that cruel!" "Wanna blow up Itachi to relieve frustration?" Sasori asked holding up a small clay statue of a chibified Itachi. "Sure," Hidan said. "But why do you have it?"

"I made an Itachi one in case he found out Kisame is a model," Sasori said. "It was so Kisame could take out his frustration." "Makes sense," Hidan said. "Honestly Kisame how do you put up with someone so conceited?"

"I dunno," Kisame. "Deep down, and I mean really deep down, he's not half bad." "If you say so," Sasori said. "Now if you'll excuse me I have to blow up Deidara." Then Sasori lit the fuses and blew Deidara up. "Now that is art!" Sasori said.

"DANNA I LOVE YOU, UN!!" Deidara cried jumping out from behind the bush they were hiding in and glomped Sasori. "Deidara?!" Sasori said blushing. "Thanks a lot Deidara," Kakuzu said coming out of the bush with Itachi following him. "Next time we decide to stalk someone we'll remember not to invite you."

"How long were you hiding behind that bush?" Hidan asked terrified. "The entire time," Kakuzu said. "And I was wondering where you go to temple. I haven't been able to find a good one where I don't get kicked out."

"You're Jewish too?" Hidan said. "Of course!" Kakuzu said. "Why do you think I'm so cheap?" "Danna's my new boyfriend, un!" Deidara said with a cheeky smile. "So you're really a model?" Itachi said to Kisame. "Uh huh," Kisame said.

"And you really think I'm conceited?" Itachi asked. "Yeah that's just about right," Kisame said. "We have alot to talk about later," Itachi said.

"So you're not gonna make fun of me?" Kisame asked. "Nope," Itachi said. "You gotta respect a model." "Hey Deidara," Sasori said. "Wanna screw like rabbits?" "Okay, un!" Deidara said.

**A/N: No paragraphs! I am such a rebel. (I said the same thing today when I wore sunglasses in math class XD) Just so you know I have nothing against Jews. My friend Cara is Jewish. In fact I wish I was Jewish. Then I would be able to have one of those delicious Jewish Pancakes. Go Jewish Pancakes! w00t! Today was a half day which means I got to leave school at 10:10. Fabulous!**

**Thanx: Thankies shirilyle for reviewing The Hidden Angel, adding it to your Story Alert list, and adding it to your Favorite Story list.**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Akatsuki Todd**_

Chapter 5

"Wow," Itachi said as he stared through the window. "Who knew Deidara was so flexible!" "Who knew Sasori was so fucking huge!" Hidan exclaimed. "I mean seriously! I didn't fucking think he had it in him."

"I'd sure as hell tap that!" Sasuke said. "Why are we even spying on Deidara and Sasori while they have sex?" Pein asked.

"Cause it's hot," Konan said. "I'm gonna make a fortune off of this tape," Kakuzu said while taping Deidara and Sasori's little fuck. "It's times like this where I wonder if putting up with you guys is even worth ruling the world," Pein said.

- - - - -

"Everyone guess what, un!" Deidara said running toward Itachi, Hidan, and Kakuzu. "You finally lost your virginity," Itachi said.

"No!" Deidara said. "I lost that a long time ago. Sasori got me a Pikachu!!" "WTF!!" Hidan said. "How come you get a fucking Pokemon!!" "Cause my danna loves me un," Deidara said. "We went on a date to Village Hidden In The Pokeball caught some!!"

"What's his name," Itachi said looking at the Pikachu. "His name is Katsu un," Deidara said. "Isn't that right Katsu?" "Pika," Katsu said. "Hey Kakuzu," Hidan said.

"Wanna go to Poke Village?" "Too expensive," Kakuzu said. "You fucking cheapskate!!" Hidan yelled. "Hey everyone guess what!!" Sasuke yelled as he ran towards the group. "They put up the list of who get's what part!!"

**List Of Parts**

Itachi - Sweeney Todd

Deidara - Johanna/Lucy

Sasori - Anthony

Hidan - Mrs. Lovelett

Kisame - Beadle Bamford/Signor Adolfo Pirelli

Kakuzu - Judge Turbin

Tobi - Toby

Zetsu - Stage Crew Manager

Sasuke - Head Costume Designer

"What the hell, un!!" Deidara said. "I deserve to be the lead not Itachi, un!!" "Well Pein is mad at you for when you called him Simon Closetcase during your audition," Kisame said. "Fuck Pein, un!!" Deidara screamed. "Fuck the world!!"

"If only that were possible," Itachi said. "Is it your goal in life to utterly disturb me?" Kisame asked. "Cause if it is you're doing an excellent job." God damn it!!" Hidan said. "I gotta wear a fucking dress!!" "So do I, un!!" Deidara said.

"Sempai!!" Tobi exclaimed. "Tobi is Toby!!" "You do realize you can't wear your mask during the show, right?" Sasori asked. "No I don't," Tobi said. "Yes you do," Sasori said. "No I don't," Tobi said. "Yes you do," Kisame said.

"No I don't," Tobi said. "Yes you do," Sasuke, the costume designer, said. "No I don't," Tobi said. "Yes you do," Pein, Konan, and Orochimaru said appearing out of nowhere.

"GOD DAMMIT!!" Tobi screamed. "What did I tell you about saying that?!" Hidan cried. "What's the big deal anyway?" Itachi asked. "It's not like you're supposed to be dead?"

"Actually I am," Tobi said removing his mask. "OMG IT'S OBITO!!" Everyone cried. "Yeah I'm Obito,"Tobi said. "Why were you hiding this from us all this time?" Zetsu asked.

"Because I was afraid that if I told you Kakashi would somehow find out," Tobi said. "Don't worry Tobi," Pein said. "Your secret's safe with us."

**Two Hours Later**

"Is it ready yet?" Pein asked. "Almost," Konan said. "I can't wait I'm so excited!" Orochimaru cried. "This is going to be the best show ever!" "Alright," Konan said. "It's ready."

"Alright Konan," Pein said. "Send the email." "Roger," Konan said and hit send. "Do you think Tobi will kill us for this?" "Definately," Orochimaru said with I smile.

"I don't care," Pein said. "It's worth it to see his face when Kakashi finds out. Yeah, I'm just that much of a bitch."

**At The Hokage's Pad In Konoha**

"What's this?" Tsunade said while checking her email. "I message from Sound? I better check this out."

_Dear Tsudane,_

_You and your village is chordgely invited to the Sound and Akatsuki production of Sweeney Todd. If you choose to accept then a temporary treaty will be activated. Also bring Kakashi._

_Sincerely Pein, Konan, and Orochimaru_

_PS Orochimaru says hi and that Pein is a hooker._

_PPS Pein says that Orochimaru is a gay sissy pants that deserves to be suffocated by your boobs._

_PPPS Deidara and Katsu say Pika._

"This sounds like fun," Tsunade said. "Shizune spread the news that we're going to Sound!" "Should I ready the Anbu?" Shizune asked. "No," Tsunade said. "Because we are going there to see a musical."

**A/N: Yay I finally finished this chapter! In case you didn't read my profile thing recently I had the flu. But I'm all better now so here come the chapters! Also I'd like to apologize for the lack of chapters lately. I just haven't felt like writing.**

**Thanx: Thanx Purpleyez Shinota for adding me to your Favorite Authors List. Thanx ultimate-ninja-sarah for adding The Hidden Angel, The Lost Angel, and The Fallen Angel to your Favorite Stories List. Shanx shirilyl for reviewing The Hideden Angel. Thanx Shimaki-33 for reviewing The Hidden Angel twice. Thanx ladyofwest for adding to your Favorite Authors List. And finally I would like to thank everyone who enjoys my hyperactive emoness. You're the best! And Shimaki-33 I could never sent attack dogs after you. You're too awesome.**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Akatsuki Todd**_

Chapter 6

"Itachi sing louder!!" Orochimaru screamed. "No one will be able to hear you!!" "I don't do loud," Itachi said. "This is a musical!!" Orochimaru said. "If the song says be loud you have to be loud!! You should really be more like Tobi." "Let's put the Tobi back in autobiography!!" Tobi cried.

"That makes no sense un," Deidara said. "Yeah it does, au-TOBI-ography," Tobi said. "Why do you want me to be like Tobi?" Itachi asked. "He's an idiot." "Look who's talking!!" Tobi cried. "You weren't so smart as a kid either!!" "How would you know what I was like as a kid?" Itachi asked.

"Crap!" Tobi said. "It seems as though my other identity has been revealed." "What do you mean, un?" Deidara asked. "Fine I'll show you," Tobi said. "Everyone gather around Tobi is about to show us his other identity!!" Orochimaru cried as everyone ran to see who Tobi was.

"I am..." Tobi said. "MANDARA UCHIHA!!" "Sensei!!" Itachi cried tackling Tobi /Obito/Mandara. "I missed you so much!!" "Wait a minute, un!" Deidara cried. "I thought Mandara was a genius."

"I am," Tobi /Obito/Mandara said. "I just acted like an idiot to fool you all. It was very hard, but every time I didn't know what to do I'd think 'what would three year old Itachi do?" "I just have one question," Pein asked. "Now that all your identities are revealed, what do we call you?"

"How about Tom," Sasuke said. "If you take the 'T' from Tobi, the 'O' from Obito, and the 'M' from Mandara you spell Tom!" "That's an excellent idea!" Orochimaru cried. "What do you think Tobi /Mandara/Obito?"

"Tom," Tobi /Mandara/Obito said. "I like it." "Fabulous!" Orochimaru said. "As I was saying, Itachi you really should be more like Tom here." "I got a great idea," Tom said. "I'll start training him again."

"That's a great idea," Konan said. "How about you train everyone who has talent but sucks at acting!" "Just be careful cause Itachi's a little man whore," Kisame said. "Who likes it up the butt!" Hidan added. "Oh please!" Tom said femininely. "Who do you think taught him that!"

**At Special Konoha Meeting**

"So we're going to Sound to see a musical put on by a bunch of S-Ranking missing nins," Naruto said. "Does anyone else think that's a bit weird." "For once I have to agree with Naruto," Sakura said. "That makes absolutely no sense! Shouldn't we be trying to destroy them?"

"Sasuke'll be there," Tsunade said. "Count us in!!" the Sasuke fan club, run by Sakura and Ino, cried. "I dunno Hokage-sama," Shikamaru said. "It seems fishy to me."

"Well then I'll just show you all the email," Tsunade said. "Shizune!! Get me my computer and the big projector!!" "It's almost ready Lady Tsunade," Shizune said, setting up all the stuff.

"Well I guess it's safe," Shikamaru said. "They look like they're too busy fighting with each other to fight with us," Neji said. "Why do I have to come?" Kakashi whined. "I don't know," Tsunade said. "I'll ask when I reply. Shizune log me into Aim!""You know you don't have to yell I'm right here," Shizune said. "Oh look they're on!"

_GamblingBlonde5 Opened a Chat room_

_GamblingBlonde5:_ We accept your invitation

_OrigamiGirl101:_ Great! Now I think we should discuss the temporary treaty

_PsychoticSingingSnake777:_ totally but no hookers allowed!

_PeircedFire69:_ I'm not a hooker!!

_PsychoticSingingSnake777:_ Then why is there a 69 in your screen name?

_PeircedFire69:_ It was college and I was drunk. Do the math!!

_PsychoticSingingSnake777:_ Ok! 1 + 1 Pein's a hooker

_PeircedFire69:_ :o

_OrigamiGirl101:_ Anyways I think the treaty should be that when it's activated neither side can attack each other because of the war

_GamblingBlonde5:_ And that most things we learn while the treaty is activated shall be ignored

_PsychoticSingingSnake777:_ Like where sound is located

_PeircedFire69:_ And that Sasori is still alive

_GamblingBlonde5:_ But didn't Sakura kill him?

_OrigamiGirl101:_ Sakura kill Sasori? ROFL! He only pretended to die.

_GamblingBlonde5:_ Anyways, Kakashi was wondering why he has to come

_PsychoticSingingSnake777:_ Cause Tom doesn't want him too and Pein is being a bee-otch!

_GamblingBlonde5:_ Who's Tom?

_PeircedFire69:_ Tobi /Obito /Mandara Uchiha

_GamblingBlonde5:_ OMG he's still alive?!

_OrigamiGirl101:_ Yeah it's kinda annoying.

_PsychoticSingingSnake777:_ Nade can you invite Suna for us?

_GamblingBlonde5:_ k

_PsychoticSingingSnake777: _Thnx! And tell Rairai I said hi

_PeircedFire69:_ Rairai? Nade? What are you, 2?

_PsychoticSingingSnake777: _It's better then sneaking off to grind a pole every night! XD

_PeircedFire69:_ You are so dead!

_PeircedFire69 Signed Out_

_PsychoticSingingSnake777 Signed out_

_OrigamiGirl101:_ We're still going for cake and coffee Sunday, right?

_GamblingBlonde5:_ Totally!!

_OrigamiGirl101:_ Cool! TTYL

_OrigamiGirl101 Signed Out_

"Well that hit a whole new level of disturbing," Shino said. "Totally," Tenten agreed. "How youthful!!" Guy cried. "Wasn't it Lee?!" "Yes Guy Sensei!!" Lee cried. "So does everyone wanna go?" Tsunade asked. "Yeah!" Everyone cried. "We're going to Sound!" Naruto cried. "Belie-" "Don't say believe it!!" Everyone screamed. "Fine," Naruto said. "We're going to Sound, dattebayo!!

**Back At Sound**

"Since Pein, Konan, and Orochimaru are fucking busy I say we pretend to be N' Sync!" Hidan said. "I call Justin Timberlake, un!" Deidara said. "No way I wanna be Justin Timberlake!" Sasuke cried.

**A/N: Does anyone know what Fall Out Boy song has the line 'The best part of believe is the lie, I hope you sing along and you steal the line'? And in case you didn't know dattebayo is believe it in Japanese...I think.**


End file.
